It is our distinguished honor to be on the committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument of George W. Bush. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of W in the Washington, D.C. Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Richard Nixon, who never told the truth, since George can never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Republican of them all. He didn't know where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, destroyed the well-being of the majority of the population while he was there, and did it all on someone else's money.
George W. Bush Monument Committee
(So far we have collected $1.35)